On Mommyhood

Its one of the most frustrating yet rewarding jobs there is. It comes with broken sleep, late nights, and early mornings. There are nights when your up all night with a sick child. You hold their little body with worry wrinkling your brow and hot tears burning your eyes and silently crying out to God to heal them. Its second guessing decisions you've made, and praying for wisdom when you dont know if the choice was the right one. Wondering if there is something else you can do to help an early riser sleep later... Surely Im doing something wrong, or there is something else I can do. There are days of criticism from others and trying not to beat yourself up over your parenting. Its being confident in the fact that your doing your best and raising your children how you believe God wants you to raise them. There are days when you wonder if having more kids is really what you should do. I feel so inadequate and am so tired, maybe we should be done. But then there are the sweet hugs where thin little arms squeeze you around the neck and you hear an "I love you Mommy" in your ear. Or while you hold your child on your lap during church and they cup your face in their hands and smile then kiss your neck and snuggle in to your chest. Its when you recieve and unexpected compliment on your children and when someone says your doing a good job. These are what make the job worth it, this is why we want more. Or when you go outside as a family and sit with your hubby and watch the kids play together and you hear the sounds of laughter and happiness. When Daddy comes home from work and all three kids drop what they are doing and run to the door screaming "Hes home! Hes home!" and seeing the look of pleasure on your husbands face as he cuddles his kids close. Its sitting with him at night and talking about the kids, because these kids are our kids, and we both love them so much it hurts. Its laughing together over the funny things they've said, or venting to him about a frustrating day and knowing he wont judge you. This is my job, this is my life, and I wouldnt trade it for the world.