30, The Next Decade

I turned 30. Ive been dreading this birthday for about 4 years. You know what? It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. It may be because our house is nearing completion and thats distracting me, my sister is moving so we've been busy, and being newly pregnant is turning my thoughts away from the looming day onto the excitement of having another baby to love. I lay in bed thinking last night, "Why am I dreading turning 30 so much?" One thought that came immediately to me is Ive had so much fun being in my 20's. Then I realized that I got married when I was 20 (almost 21), so most of the joy of my 20's is my hubby and kids, which I will still have in my 30's. Why else was I dreading it? 30 just sounds so grown up and not youngish anymore, I still think of myself as the same age as early 20 ers and then realize Im really not. Im almost a decade older than them. So I guess its just that I dont like people to think of me as "old" but does it really matter? No not really. I also worry about getting wrinkles, and grey hair, saggy skin. I worry will I age nicely? I look at pictures and see little laugh lines around my eyes. Im not a youngin anymore. Another thought is, have I accomplished what I wanted to in my 20's? For as long as I can remember when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I honestly didnt have a "dream" I just wanted to get married and have a family. So did I accomplish that? Yes. I have three beautiful children, a baby on the way, and an amazing husband. The one thing I didnt accomplish is having all my kids by the time I was 30, one short. So my new "goal" is 32 ;o) Is my walk with God where I wanted it to be by this age? Its not where I want it to be, but Im not as immature and selfish as I was when we were first married. Ive learned to put my husbands needs ahead of my own, my childrens needs and wants above sleep or things I "want to do". Theres of course plenty of room to grow, but I have grown, and hope to continue to do so to become the woman God wants me to be.

All in all Im looking forward to what 30 has to bring. We'll almost be done having kids after this baby is born. We would like one more. So 30 will be raising our babies instead of being pregnant all the time. We hope to get my hubby a bit more schooling then go into full time ministry. Now it will be fulfilling plans instead of the dreaming stage. We're growing up, getting older, and wiser... Im so glad that I have the man I do, to do it with, to "grow old" with. Our love has grown deeper, more mature as we age. I remember thinking I loved him so much when we were first married. Now my love is so much more than it was, think about what it will be when I turn the next decade, 40, then 50... Sounds almost exciting doesnt it? Getting older doesnt phase my man one bit, I hope to become less vain and not worry about it either. What I should focus more on instead of the out ward is becoming the woman God wants me to be and being beautiful on the inside, because of my relationship with Him. Then the outward wont matter so much, getting older wont matter so much.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30
To fear the Lord, that is my goal for my 30's.


I get to grow old with him... Isnt that great?!